i’m tired // a life update on the penguin.

*clap clap* hello. It’s me. Being strange. As usual. I don’t why I’m putting full stops everywhere. But I am.

So. this post. Life. ha. I want this blog to be more me?? So hopefully this post is like an accurate representation of life and by that I’m just going to be ranting about how TIRED I am.

Today was the first day of school, as it happens, and I came home and literally thought “I wanna die” GOTTA LOVE WEDNESDAY EVENING THOUGHTS. Anyways, my eyeballs just don’t want to be AWAKE right now. My eyelids? Are so tired! Like so tired, they are so HEAVY. Anyways, I’m exhausted from going to school for one day?? All my energy has been sucked out of me. Also, blankets are nice. 10/10 recommend.

Also a thing that happens to me is that if I watch booktube videos, I want to start a booktube channel. Maybe I am not motivated to blog because… I’m not reading blogs. Also no offense to all blogs out here, but most of the blogs I follow are really boring. Like there are legit about 10 blogs I ACTUALLY GENUINELY enjoy reading and yet I’m following 70. Why…? I don’t know. Don’t ask me. IT’S NOT LIKE I’M FOLLOWING PEOPLE BECAUSE I FEEL TOO BAD TO UNFOLLOW THEM AND DIE BECAUSE OF GUILT OR ANYTHING. And because of this, i-don’t-like-most-blog-posts thing, I don’t even want to go to my WordPress feed because it’s full of things!! I don’t!! enjoy!! I wish it was more acceptable to have blogging friends, but you don’t like their posts. Is that okay?? Am I bad friend to everyone? Probably.

Anyways I might decide to just unfollow like 60 people if I’m feeling brave or spontaneous. I just want to find blogs I genuinely enjoy and so many people write boring posts (including me, myself, the ilsa, the penguin, I admit.) like this post is probably boring but what I mean by boring is like ugh. Like some posts just have such dry writing voice and it’s the same content 24/7 and I’m just really picky about what I enjoy?? So yeah. (it’s not like the blog’s content is bad but I just really like unique stuff?!) also unfollow me if you hate me.

Also music. *clap clap*. I feel like the whole of the book blogging community has a different music taste to me but the book twitter has goooood music taste. Just saying. Anyways if you wanna see my playlist, hit me up. Alsoilovedodieforevergoodbye.

Reading. *clicks fingers.* READING. I wanted to read 20 books in the summer holidays but guess what I did? I read like 6 books or something. Because i’m a failure. I don’t really care to be honest. Frick reading challenges, I wanna read for enjoyment if I’m perfectly honest.

Okay this post is just me trying to tell you that I want to do things I ENJOY. I feel like everyone gets so caught up in what they’re supposed to do (*cough* reading challenges *cough*) (no shade, haha, just i think loads of people feel pressurized to do it) and what everyone else likes but ?!?! it’s so stupid. Just do things you enjoy. I mean obviously, things like school you gotta do them. But don’t force yourself to do things you don’t have to do if that makes sense.

This is a strannnnge post but I really like how it’s come out (as in a bunch of messy paragraphs of me being tighred) anyways school has just drained the life out of me. So that’s fun. Also fun game, guess how old I am in the comments I always find it so interesting to see what people think.

Also food. Pad thai noodles. Amazing. Love it. 10/10 recommend.

Writing. A thing I’ve been doing! I like it. I’m enjoying. Poems are so much fun and rhyming it’s all in the timing okay what i’m so fgdsjgf.

Snippet of TWO wild Ilsa snippets.

snippet 1                    Screenshot 2018-09-05 at 18.49.49

snippet 2Screenshot 2018-09-05 at 18.53.26

Recommend me a show to watch please and thank (even tho i need to finish merlin-rewatch)

Also talking to my internet friends? Not happening and i hate myself because i can’t talk to people i’ve been close to for a long time because of things like me being trash and anyways i will just disappear forever now.

Tell me for real, did you ACTUALLY enjoy this post or are you just feeling productive for blog hopping. Real life questions being asked on a whisper of ink.



(this is unedited trash)

38 thoughts on “i’m tired // a life update on the penguin.”

  1. I feel with you following blogs that don’t really interest you. I don’t know what it is. Maybe I start following blogs because they are interesting or I think they will be interesting, but ultimately I end up never actually reading any of their posts. :/ I will unfollow if I realize I’ve seen skipping over all of someone’s posts for months and we don’t generally communicate anyway. I still feel bad though, even though it’s not personal or anything. I’m just not the right audience.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. i actually gasped when i saw this in my email hahhaa. hiiiii!!! okay but this is actually so relatable gosh. i literally have SO MANY blogs i follow but never read their posts, or if i do, i skim 90% of the post and like it to make the blogger feel better #yikes. lets both challenge ourselves and just… wipe it all clean (even if i’m part of that it’s okay you can unfollow i wouldn’t mind!) ayeee i wanna know what music you like! my one true music love is kpop and it’s hard for me to find others with the same taste that aren’t just ‘liking’ it bc bts has gotten popular now. *and ew koreaboos* but i am always branching out too so hit me up!


  3. Quite honestly, I am loving how your blog has just become the truth and honestly and how you’re feeling because no body really writes that and it’s beautiful!


  4. Do it do the purge! You shouldn’t feel bad for it! I really liked this post btw it felt really real also congrats on finishing your first day!!! Its always the hardest. I have the same problem i watch alot of booktube a lot more than i read blogs but I’m camera shy so it hasnt happened yet.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I actually really enjoyed reading this?! Messy, spontaneous posts like this are ny favourite. I totally relate to feeling tired (and I haven’t even started school yet, ahahah help me). I’ve also been struggling to find motivation to read blog posts too, which I feel terrible about :/ And of course you should absolutely do the things you enjoy!! What’s the point of doing stuff if you don’t like doing it?? I never do reading challenges either bc I feel like it would stress me out and take the fun out reading, which is Not Good.
    Also I really like your poetry snippets! 😊

    Andrea @ https://spaceshipsvampiresandsecretagents.blogspot.com/


  6. KILL the blogs. KILL THEM. okay don’t kill them but like…konmari them. Do they bring you joy? If no UNFOLLOW. You’re right there’s no shame in that srsly. And also I really did enjoy this post, it was relatable, random but also funny… and a bit melancholy. I FEEL YOU with the tiredness.


  7. If you don’t feel like following all those blogs then go ahead and do it 😊 Blogging should be fun and not a task.
    I am on blog hiatus from quite sometime now. I mean I post posts but not in the way I used to and that’s why my blog hopping was also quite low. I too follow too many blogs because of some support group. And now I feel bad about unfollowing anyone 🙈 But we should do that if that makes us happy 😊

    And loved this post!


  8. So I wrote a long comment and it got deleted somehow! Wow so intelligent me 🧐

    Anyhow, I was saying that if unfollowing unnecessary blogs make you happy then go ahead and do it 😊 Blogging should be fun not a task.
    I too follow so many blogs because of ‘support group’ but I don’t even read half of their posts. Yes, I too feel bad about unfollowing them but the truth is we should do what makes us happy 😊

    And loved this post!


  9. I’m sending you lots of love, hugs if you take them and tons of positive vibes for school, life and everything else. You’re a penguin, but you’re a warrior too okay ❤
    I get the guilt- feeling about unfollowing blogs so much, but you should definitley focus on the ones that really interest you and let the other ones go. There's no need to bother with them if you're not going to read their content and it's going to be way less stressful and dreading to go to your reader then 🙂
    I'm sending you tons of love xxx


    1. Ahhh thank you Marie. I always look forward to your comments immensely because I know they’re gonna be filled with support, love and kindness ❤ I've just unfollowed a ton of blogs and I'm so happy to be honest. Thank you so much for this wonderful comment!!! xx

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Hey (this is jas from twitter – previously it’s simply me jasmine lol) I loved this post, simply because it’s just you, sitting with your laptop typing whatever you want. And I related to a LOT, and it’s always nice to relate to something.
    It’s nore than okay to do what makes you happy. In the end, you’ve got to put yourself first. I mean, we’re stuck with ourselves so we might as well make our miserable little souls happy right?
    If you wanna quit blogging – quit! If you wanna start a booktube – start one!! If you wanna unfollow 60 blogs – do it! Life’s short, might as well do it ilsa🙂 and hey, if whatever you do flops, you still have the power to change it.
    I’m sensing you’re in a very ‘meh’ place and it sucks, but lil ol me is here if you need me.💕
    (Plus, the first snippet low-key really hit me like I really relate)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. HI JAS MY FAVOURITE!!! thank you so much for this comment. I don’t think i wanna quit blogging but I really want to booktube. I’m too afraid t put my face out there though so not yet. I’m so glad you like the snippet, means a lot. xx


  11. Oh yeah… I totally agree with the boring blog thing. (and yours is not one of them, just so you know) I only follow about 20 folks, but probably only read about half of those people’s blogs. Honestly, if you’re someone who follows my blog but doesn’t read it, I wouldn’t mind the unfollow. I’d rather have a few interactive followers than a bunch that never read/like/comment. Which… is actually what happens. So #winning, I guess?


  12. I knoooow what you mean! I feel like lately my posts have been getting super boring and repetitive and I don’t knooow what to do! But honestly, your blog is one of the most interesting blogs out there 😉 xx


  13. YOU SHOULD DO WHAT YOU ENJOY. You deserve the world Ilsa and I really hope you do whatever makes you happy (whether that be blogging, booktube, twitter, whatever it is).❤️By the way, your blog is far from boring, I always love it!

    Agh, I struggle with unfollowing blogs too, because everyone is just SO KIND and I want to chat with people but sometimes…not read their posts? It’s complicated, but at the end of the day, do what makes you happiest. Sending you all the good vibes in the world!


  14. Aww I always super much enjoy your posts…but I totally get how blogging can become disenchanting after a while?! And honestly I feel like a lot of people are stopping blogging or like…not stretching the boundaries anymore. WE NEED SOME FIREWORKS AROUND HERE. (But, like, softly, so we don’t burn the house down.😂) Anywayyyyy I really hope you do stay blogging and tweeting (LOVE YOUR TWEETS TOO BTW) and I think it’s important to sometimes reassess and do things just for fun. I actually have found myself slumping with reading recently and actually though: you know, pre-blogging I never had a reading slump.😂I think we CAN force ourselves to read all the time and super much, and it’s not always the best thing?! Not that I really take my advice with this oops, but YEAH. THOUGHTS.

    *sends you cake because you sound like you need so so much right now* 💛💛💛


  15. I highkey get the not reading a lot of blogs because you don’t enjoy them all. About 6 months ago I went through and unfollowed all but about 15 blogs on wordpress so I wasn’t scared to go online. If I am on twitter and I see someone linking their post and it seems interesting I check it out (because I still follow a lot of blogs on twitter) and if someone comments on my blog and I have time I go check out their latest posts but there’s less pressure / effort involved. I love watching booktube but filming things an editing them is too much effort for me. Plus I like being able to hide behind my blog.


  16. YESYESYES!! Can’t stand those ’10 things’ or ‘my morning routine’ posts like DO SOMETHING UNIQUE but I genuinely loved reading this because oh my god it’s like reading my brain


  17. Ahhhh, I love those snippets!!
    And I really enjoyed this post! I always enjoy your posts 💕

    I’m gonna goes you’re… sixteen??


  18. Yes Ilsa! I love this post! I was 100% bloghopping to start with I admit haha. I’m glad that you’re not afraid to be honest. It’s an important quality. You may have just written this as a rant but you’ve addressed loads of those weird unspoken things in the blogging community. I feel like, typically, the people who make blogs are really nice but it means that some of them tend to shy away from those weird unspoken things. Personally, I like to treat my blog as well… I just don’t get very personal. I try to write these neat posts about books but I never really talk about my life and I hardly ever talk about how I’m basically failing at everything blog-related. I guess I just write for me, I don’t really care if anyone sees it. But then I do like to know that I have an audience. Ya know? I’m not really making any sense. But yeah, I’m glad you wrote this post. It was needed in the blogosphere! And you’ve just inspired me to write a different kind of post. So thank youuuuu 🙂 ❤

    Simi ~ simizat.wordpress.com

    P.S. School is so draining, I relate.


  19. Hi Ilsa! I’m currently a junior in high school, and September was one rough month for me. I just can so, so relate to you and your feelings of tiredness — that’s exactly what hit me during last month, but I’ve trudged through and now everything seems so much brighter and better 😊 We all need those tiring, fatigued days to make our happy days worth it & valuable for us 💕 And I think unfollowing blogs is a great way to declutter our life — usually when I’m stressed, it’s usually because I feel like my life is a mess. It’s fine to pick and choose which blogs to follow, and read posts that make us feel inspired rather than like we’ve wasted our time reading them.

    I’m a new reader of your blog, but this post was so relatable that I’m excited to read the rest of your posts. I hope you’re able to find a balance between blogging & school soon! Sending love & positive thoughts from California! 😊🏖


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