I’m not really sure how to start this post without seeming overdramatic but…here goes.
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about my blog. I’ve been thinking about how i’m not really that…passionate about it anymore. no, i don’t find blogging boring. not in the least. but i don’t squeal every time i get comments, i don’t silently clap for myself whenever i look at my blog, and i don’t settle in excitedly every time i write a blog post. and the thing is, i used to. blogging was such an exciting, fresh amazing opportunity for me and i loved it.
right now, it doesn’t feel like i’m unique. it feels like i’m publishing reviews that are overdue, i’m hitting publish last minute and i have so many comments i haven’t replied to from last year and i will never catch up. right now, i’m very calm. not stressed in the least…and that is kind of what’s worrying me. i look at these comments and don’t even feel an ounce of panic that i haven’t replied to them and then i get worried that i’m not even making PLANS to reply to these. i look at my blog and i don’t feel the spark to write a blog post and i’m NOT stressed about that. and this scares me.
since when have i STOPPED caring about my blog? i’m starting to drift away slowly. i’m more focused on Twitter and Instagram and getting free books and being a rep for certain companies but when it all comes down to it, i feel so neutral about blogging. i don’t want to leave, i want to stay but it’s no longer the forefront of what i want to do.
what excites me then? receiving book mail. opening it up an then sitting down to read. writing funny updates on Goodreads and interacting with you all on twitter. watching booktube. filming booktube videos of myself even though i don’t have a channel. taking pictures and editing them. editing random videos. re-organising my bookshelf all over again. writing for magazines. talking to internet friends. and i think of all these things, and that’s what i love doing. when i think of what excites me, blogging doesn’t really come to mind.
it seems right now something that i can do in my free-time. not specifically something i WANT to do in my free-time. i barely even think about blog hopping anymore. and for a while, i felt guilty about this. but now, i realise, i’m changing, so is my blog, and so is my online presence.
and that’s okay.
i know all of you are like “never stop posting!!” and i don’t think i will leave my blog. and the thought of doing so, makes me want to rip my heart out because blogging is still something i treasure. it’s why i’m here in the first place. i’m just starting to value other things more. and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.
i’m on a two-week break from school and i want to spend it wisely. and some of that will be blogging, but most of it will be doing things that i find fun. being silly, messing around, making horrible baked goods, going places, snapping pictures, talking to friends, making plans this sounds like i have a life but i really don’t
i want to write, i want to read and i want to rant and i want to speak out and i want to do all those things and make a difference. i don’t want to blog for the sake of it. i don’t want to blog just because i always have. i want to blog because i have inspiration; because i have something to SHARE with the world.
so is this farewell? no. this is just to say that i’m going to spread myself more evenly across…my life?? i’m not going to just purely blog. i’m going to live in my physical, in real life world. i’m going to dabble in things across the internet. and i’m going to socialise with all of you and i’m going to do whatever the heck makes me happy.
this will still be my place. i’m not going to abandon it for months on end. and i will post at least twice every month. but it won’t be a chore that i have to do every week, post because that’s what I do. i’m gonna change things up, see what happens. life’s short and i want to treasure every moment. and blogging doesn’t seem like i’m making the most of my time.
thinking about this makes me a little sad inside. but this is for the best, right? who knows i might become a blog maniac or “queen” again but for now i’m just going to live my life and think about the future for a whisper of ink. and it’s going to be messy figuring out how to navigate everything but do i care?? no.
so what will happen with a whisper of ink? i’m not leaving! i’m still posting. i’m just not gonna stress about it anymore. i’m not going to make it a massive priority anymore. i realised everything is getting so repetitive. same design, same featured image, same boring dividers, same colour palette and so you might see some changes in an appearance here. i’m starting to find my own style, what I want to do with my blog, and not what everyone else wants for my blog.
i’m leaving tags and awards in the dust. i’m going to take comments slowly. and i’m just going to enjoy everything i have and come back to why i’m really here, in the blogosphere. that means more writing, more reading and more magic.