So, I’m back into blogging…BUT FACING A LOT OF PROBLEMS!!
My life’s just a bit of a mess right now. I have so many things to do but don’t where to start. I have all the time in the world but don’t know how to prioritise my to-do-list. I want to write SO many posts but instead, I rant about HOW I AM INCABALE OF MANAGING MY OWN DAMN LIFE.
But remember how I said this blog will be more…me? Maybe that’s not quality content but I’m getting more and more used to that idea that this blog is for ME!? I don’t know why but that thought comforts me a lot. So I’m just going to let it all out.
1. HOW DO YOU WRITE POSTS AGAIN!?
It seems while I’ve been in this “slump” I’ve forgotten how to do…everything?! Like, i sit down to write a blog post but I just get distracted or just sigh and look at my screen and scream “WHY THE FRIG CAN’T THIS POST WRITE ITSELF?!” I was originally writing a very exciting post but then gave up, opened a new draft, and let the words flow. Which is what you are reading right now!
2. What do I focus on?
Do I focus on editing my novel, or reading and catching up on my Goodreads challenge or do I schedule a post or do I start homework?
See, I’m on a one-week break from school and I have a lot of free time on my hands. This is great! I KNOW. But the thing with a lot of time, WHAT DO YOU DO WITH IT!?! I have a gazillion things to do and I just don’t know WHAT to prioritise. I’ve been dabbling in my novel for a bit, starting edits but I want my full attention on it. BUT NO! There’s reading and blogging nagging at me. So then I leave my WIP and go to read. But when I read I feel guilty for not doing homework! And then writing a blog post I think I should be doing something else!! I want to focus on ONE thing but everything else is calling for my attention. And whenever I’m on Twitter or relaxing with my family I know that IM WASTING TIME AND I SHOULD BE DOING SOMETHING.
3. What do I read?
Oh gosh I’m getting more indecisive by the day guys but I have so many physical copies to read and I’m slowly catching up and I want to read so many but I can’t and??? Like?? WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN TO ME?! I run Twitter polls but don’t like the results so end up ignoring them!? WOHOOO
I also have promised to read way too many books and hinted at way too many buddy reads that I actually can’t fulfil and I just feel like I’m drowning. I’m stuck between the hype and books I actually want to read
4. I don’t think critically enough?
I feel like I’m rating every book 4 or 5 stars and I’m not being critical ENOUGH. I hate that? One of the one hand, i want to be more picky about books but then I feel like I’m judging them too harshly and maybe I’m just genuinely reading good books? I THINK YOU CAN SEE MY PROBLEM HERE.
5. Is my content any good?
I FEEL LIKE NO ONE ENJOYS MY CONTENT anymore AND IM SCREAMING INTO A VOID. And No I don’t want to take a break because I’ve already taken one. I’ve already got inspiration and motivation I JUST HAVE A LOT OF SELF-DOUBT OKAY and I feel like people only still read my content because they want to be “loyal” readers and not because they actually enjoy what I write? I also feel like I try really hard to be part of this community but I still feel like I’m the awkward one and the odd-one-out?
6. I know I’m going to need beta-readers in the future but THE THOUGHT SCARES ME.
It really does! i just have this feeling that my mutuals will hate my book and be like “oh yeah that was okay” and?? That’s why I’m so terrified to share this with people because I have this thought that I know they will hate it because it’s stupid and underdeveloped and don’t make sense and my writing is bland and boring and everyone will hate my book.
7. I am actually running out of bookshelf space
I NEVER thought I’d run into this problem and I have been dutifully re-organising my bookshelf every time I receive a new book but it’s starting to lose it’s magic because of the fact my bookshelf ISN’T the tardis so like?? Yeah.
8. TWITTER IS TOO DISTRACTING + lack of tweets
I only tweet good stuff every two weeks? I feel stupid for that. I NEED TO POST MORE TWEETS LIKE I USED TO. But nope I’m a just a lump. And I spend way too much time on TWITTER SOMEONE STOP ME.
9. I put off 400+ pages books because of my reading challenge
If I read some of my anticipated releases ever like Children of Blood and Bone or The Astonishing Colour of After, I will take more than 2 days to finish and then I’ll slip MORE BEHIND IN MY GR CHALLENGE?! And I’m already 2 books behind but I WANT to read these books but have this irrational fear that they will put me in a slump. BASICALLY, HUGE BOOKS TERRIFY ME.
10. Am I wasting my time?
School’s nearly starting, enjoy your break! But do your work as well! AND MAKE SURE YOU DO ALL THE GAZILLION THINGS ON YOUR TO-DO LIST otherwise your not making use of your free time!!
I just feel like I’m drowning and I have so much time to do everything instead I just sit around complaining about how much I have to do WHEN I SHOULD BE ACTUALLY DOING THE STUFF. I feel a bit like a blob right now, being a bit useless and moping around. I feel like stuff happens in my life and I’m just like “eh” and I feel so disconnected. I feel so unbothered to text or message anyone even blogging friends IM SORRY. I read messages! And don’t reply to them!
NO ACTUALLY LET’S SCREAM. What are you struggling with in your life? Want to just rant about anything and everything? Go ahead! Do you relate to any of this? Do you have any advice for the penguin here?