this won’t be like my usual posts. it will be different and it will be one of the most honest posts i have ever written.
i don’t know if i like blogging anymore.
i know i know. some of you may have seen me tweet about this and i wanted to write a normal post but everything i seemed to write seemed to just end up really sad or flat.
i am really demotivated.
i can’t bring myself to write posts and I’ve just started blog hopping. for some reason, my stats are low, i feel like i don’t have time to run a blog anymore, and no matter how many arcs i get, i still feel all the arc envy. i feel like everyone is moving forward and I’m moving backwards. i feel like every blogger is upping their game and I’m slacking.
my stats are pure rubbish. and i know people say ‘don’t compare yourself’ ‘numbers aren’t everything’ and that used to work; i never used to care. but lately, for some weird sudden reason, I’ve started checking them and have been really put down by them because they’re horrible.
i know i should be grateful. some people may think i have it all with my follower counts and likes and my fair amount of comments and i should stop complaining
but this is how i feel right now. you don’t have to read this. this is me getting stuff o my chest and feel free to think whatever you like of me. i may seem ungrateful or whiny but it is just me.
i have no idea if i want to continue blogging. i at down the other day, put my head in my hands and thought. I’ve been so stressed out lately and i hate it and blogging hasn’t helped. sometimes the community has made me so torn. I’m always forced to have the “right” opinion and its tiring always being so freaking correct about everything. people are so annoying sometimes and because having a different point of view is so hard.
there are some things keeping me here, in this community.
- leaving the blogosphere is such a scary idea
- you guys are so awesome and sweet and i love you all ❤
- I still have ARCs to review and I like getting free books
- comments make my day
it’s mostly the first one. letting go of blogging is such a wild concept i can’t even begin to imagine what it would be like. to not have the pressure to read or the hype or thinking of blog ideas at night and wasting hours talking to blogger friends and just generally, being a book blogger.
i don’t think i can let blogging go.
and if i can’t; i won’t. this is not me quitting. this is me laying out my feelings in a blog post.
i want to write more posts like this. i want to be myself more often. i feel like there’s such a huge pressure to always have “QUALITY CONTENT” and i’m so done with that. i’m not going to delete this post. just because it’s not your definition of a 1000 word, professional looking post, i don’t care.
also if someone wants to buy me the cruel prince by holly black let me know because i need that book like i need air but i don’t think its even out in the UK.
this is me.
also update on my life right now
- a thousand perfect notes
- is nearly released
- less than 6 months left!!! IM NOT SCREAMING YOU ARE
- i want ice cream
- tea and biscuits are soo good
- i love caraval by Stephanie Garber
- i just remembered how much i love Nina zenik and waffles
- city of brass is so slow how is may reading this?
- and how does anyone else even like this?
- i love being salty
- booktube is so addicting i love Emma books and sprinkled pages those are the only channels i watch
- i wanna start a booktube
- i don’t wanna read 150 books this year.
- stranger things season 3 is coming out in 2019. A WHOLE YEAR WITHOUT STEVE?!
- okay i’m done
- failing @ my bullet journal.
but here’s some poems/writings/snippets instead.
hope you guys are all having a nice and wonderful life filled with cake. i am a penguin and my name is eleven.
im so tired.